It’s funny how seeing a video for a song can give you a different impression of it. I had always thought of this as a pretty naff song, but now that I’ve seen this, I realise it’s even more overwhelmingly cheesy than I had ever imagined. I especially like the transparent cheapness of the set, and the casual way Johnny sits on a backwards chair like a delinquent child in class, or Joanne Whalley as Christine Keeler in the Scandal poster.

I have also just Googled him to see if there’s an explanation for why he’s that colour, but there doesn’t seem to be. This song was Christmas number one in 1976, when I was four months old, so once again I take none of the blame.