Tonight sees arguably the season’s most-anticipated fixture yet: Palace reserves v Millwall reserves at Bromley Town Football Club. Unbelievably, considering the likely demand for tickets, I have managed to procure one and I’ll be cheering south London’s finest (alright, second-finest) along with gusto. Results to be posted here just as soon as I remember, and don’t say I don’t put myself out for this blog.
Edit: it was a thrilling 0-0 draw.


I have a shiny new staff pass from work which gives me free travel on tubes, buses and trams. It’s the best thing ever, but not so much because of the money I’ll save. The reason I’m really excited by it is that every time I swipe it on an Oyster reader a little message flashes up and it says “staff”. And each time that happens I want to tip the bus driver a knowing smile, one that says: “yep, you and me pal, we’re staff“.I haven’t actually done it.

A joke

At the Friday night service, Bernie turns up with a rottweiler in tow. The rabbi is outraged and says “Bernie, you can’t bring that dog in here, it’s completely inappropriate”. “Just wait,” says Bernie, and he produces a yarmulke and a tallith and puts them on the dog, who immediately starts reading beautifully from the prayer book. “That’s amazing,” says the rabbi, “I’m sorry I doubted you. Do you think he would be interested in attending rabbinical school?”. Bernie throws up his hands in disgust. “YOU try telling him”, he says, “he wants to be a doctor!”.


Well, that didn’t work at all, did it? We are now back down to tenth. Still, tenth is an ok place to be. In fact, maybe it’s the perfect place to be at this point in the season: if you’re guaranteed promotion or a play-off place this early on, some of the excitement fizzles out, until the last few games. And likewise if by February you’ve not bothered the top half of the table, the only excitement you’re likely to face is the possibility of relegation, which is the kind of excitement I can always do without. But 10th means we’ll be fighting for a top six finish right through to the end of the season. And really, that’s what it’s all about. And anyone who says “it’s not about the excitement, it’s about the results” is definitely not a Palace fan. In fact, they’re probably an Arsenal fan and not worth listening to at all.

Cartier Affair

Yesterday, in the post-Sunday-lunch haze, I was introduced to this film, which I was amazed not to have heard of before. It’s a jewel-heist caper! With Joan Collins and David Hasselhoff! And it’s rubbish!

But I sort of loved the tagline: “His only hope is to escape with her jewels…before she steals his heart!”. Exclamation mark theirs.

Reasons to be cheerful: number 4

Spring has sprung! It’s absolutely beautiful in London today. Outside just now, I could feel the sun warming the backs of my legs through my layers of clothing. And then I came inside and a woman waiting for the lift was saying to her friend “the first day that feels like spring is just so uplifting, it makes it seem worth going through winter for.” And she was exactly right.
Edit: obviously there’ll be howling gales and thunderstorms by this time next week. But that’s no reason not to enjoy it while it lasts.


We’re away at Charlton tonight. If I wasn’t otherwise occupied I might have gone; the Valley is only round the corner and I’ve never been. I like visiting other sides’ grounds – it reminds me how lucky I am to support a team in whose ground it will forever be the 1980s (I genuinely mean that). It goes without saying that we must win.