Our instruction for December 3 is HOLLY WREATH, which coincidentally is also today’s real-life task in my house, where I have discovered that the wreath I made last year is a little worse for wear after a year under the stairs and needs refreshing: a visit to the closest florist awaits at lunchtime. This is the first place I’ve lived since I was a student where my front door faces the street, and so around this time last year I went to an evening class at the Old Brewery in Greenwich where I paid £10 to make my own wreath while consuming at least £10 worth of mince pies. There were various decorations on offer but the competition for the more traditional elements of a wreath was fierce and so I went off-piste and garnished my fir boughs with thistles, mistletoe and, well, peacock feathers.

There’s no holly or ivy in this wreath, but I think I will add some ivy to it when I perk it up later, which I have decided gives me licence to make today’s song Annie Lennox’s glorious version of The Holly And The Ivy, from her even more glorious 2010 album A Christmas Cornucopia. If you could sing like that you’d never stop, would you?