- We don’t have to lose to Arsenal every week next season
- We get to play Charlton
- We run no risk of upsetting Derby County’s record of the lowest points tally and earliest relegation from the Premiership since its inception
- I don’t have to try and find a pub to watch the final in when I’m on away at the seaside for the bank holiday weekend
- The first one again
I realise I was confused when I wrote about conceding goals “at home” before the last game, because as far as I know there’s no away goals rule in the play-offs, which means a 1-0 win tonight would be enough to take us into extra time and penalties. I was caught out by this the last time we were promoted, when it ended up 3-3 over two legs between Palace and Sunderland but they had scored more away goals and I thought it was all over. I think I was even about to leave the pub when I realised that the players weren’t leaving the pitch.
But I’d still rather win 2-0, please. I can’t bear penalties, even during regular play, and a shoot-out is enough to send me outside, cowering with the smokers.
Oh well. At least Man Utd won the Premiership. I don’t love them, but I love them more than I love Chelsea (or Arsenal).