Here is a meal I ate in Tahiti. It’s got popcorn on it! And it was very good, so next time you’re in Pape’te I can recommend Cali.stro, which despite calling itself a steakhouse (are there cows in Tahiti? I don’t think I saw any) rustled up this delicious tuna tartare for me.

Did you know that there are thirty eight Polynesian languages? Although quite a lot of them are fairly similar, since the ancient Polynesians seemingly liked nothing better than a bit of island-hopping. In Tahitian, Noera, teie Noera seems to mean ‘Christmas, this Christmas’, which would also point to a possible French influence, and here it’s sung by Guy Laurens – who for the same reason I imagine is actually a ‘Gee’ with a hard-G – along with an invisible choir.

‘Ia ‘oa’oa i te Noera ‘e ‘ia maita’i i te mau ‘ōro’a matahiti ‘āpī!