Palace are at home to Southampton tomorrow. If I could sacrifice an animal to guarantee a win, I would. Our odds are much shorter than theirs, which is always cause for concern.

Southampton are one of the sides who we know we’re better than, but who are often, incomprehensibly, doing quite a lot better than we are. See also: Charlton, Norwich, Sheffield United, Ipswich, Leicester, various others (it depends on the time of day). To have them way down in fourteenth (that’s FOURTEENTH) while we’re in fifth (that’s FIFTH) puts a whole new slant on playing them.