“I didn’t get where I am today…”

I have just had the following exchange with my boss:

Him: Can I borrow a pen?

Me: What kind?

Him: A biro

I hand him a biro. Pause.

Him: Thanks. Can I keep it for…an hour?”

Me: You can keep it forever. There’s a whole stationery cupboard full of them just there. (I indicate the stationery cupboard.)

Him: Wow, really? Great!

I don’t know whether he’s never had to use a pen before, or has always used the same one which has just run out, or if he brings them from home, but I’m glad to have been the source of new and useful information.

All of which is a perfect way to introduce you, if you don’t know it already, to Good After-Morning!, as witty and terrifying a testament to the experience of working for someone very stupid as you’re ever likely to read. Since I’ve had a proper job I’ve been lucky enough to have uniformly kind and competent bosses, but in the dim and dark days of my early twenties I worked for someone who, whilst nothing like as awful as The Boss described therein, bore some striking similarities to her, so my sympathy is fully extented to the Silent Koala (but I do hope he keeps working for her and blogging about it).


I think today might have been my highest-achieving day ever. This morning I got up and made Glamorgan sausages, washed up, and cleaned the kitchen; all before I left for work. At work, I did loads of work. At lunchtime I went to the bank and paid in a cheque, and went to Morrison’s and bought toothpaste, tissues, a mixing bowl, cling film, teabags and a tray for collecting rain water*, which list constitutes everything I needed and didn’t have in my egg. Then I went back to the office and did loads more work, before zooming off to the gym, and finally home for the sausages. Now I am heating up the remains of Sunday’s apple crumble and thinking about how grown-up I am.

It could only have been improved had I remembered to get travel insurance for our Norwegian fjord cruise next month, and to ring up and renew my library book. But you can’t have everything. It leaves me with something to achieve tomorrow.

* Congratulate me, please: I am the proud new mother of a Sarracenia flava, which in return for a constant supply of rain water promises to rid me forever of flying beasties and similar horrors.