I just got carried away in the newsagent’s and bought £1.65’s worth of pick’n’mix. I can’t explain it; they didn’t even have any of the best sweets. I was just instinctively spurred into action by eight-year-old me. Anyway, it got me thinking about the best pick’n’mix sweets so here, in ascending order for added excitement, are my top five ever pick’n’mix sweets. I was going to do a top ten but I can’t think of ten, and I don’t want to compromise the integrity of the list by including placeholders.

5. Kola cubes
4. Shrimps
3. Chewing nuts (better than they sound)
2. Jazzies
1. Fizzy cola bottles (but the non-fizzy kind were rubbish)

I was going to include teeth because they were quite cool in a faintly horrifying way, but they never tasted that good.

Update: they did have fizzy cola bottles, but I’m eating one now and it’s very disappointing. Overly chewy (I suspect its best before date may be be some time past) and barely fizzy at all. There’s a lesson in this: you can’t go back.



Palace are at home to Southampton tomorrow. If I could sacrifice an animal to guarantee a win, I would. Our odds are much shorter than theirs, which is always cause for concern.

Southampton are one of the sides who we know we’re better than, but who are often, incomprehensibly, doing quite a lot better than we are. See also: Charlton, Norwich, Sheffield United, Ipswich, Leicester, various others (it depends on the time of day). To have them way down in fourteenth (that’s FOURTEENTH) while we’re in fifth (that’s FIFTH) puts a whole new slant on playing them.