Fireworks

This is the simplest little thing, but I love it. Someone sent me the link in 2002 and every November 5 I dig it out again and enjoy it just as much as the first time. Except for last year, when for some reason I couldn’t find it and posted a Cliff Richard video instead. Sorry about that.

Starbucks

I have a vague feeling that I’m supposed to hate Starbucks, but I can’t remember why. I used to think it was because they put proper coffee shops out of business, but then I remembered that we haven’t had proper coffee shops in the UK since the 1930s.

Anyway, I like Starbucks. I don’t go there very often, but when I do, I really like it. I like that you can sit on sofas and armchairs instead of on poky little wooden chairs, and I like that the music is quiet enough that you can read without hearing it, and I like how warm and steamy it is, and that you can buy a Guardian to accompany your coffee (or, in my case, tea), and I like that they ask whether you want them to leave room for the milk but let you pour the milk yourself.

The coffee may quite possibly be dreadful, but since I dislike and disapprove of coffee, this doesn’t deter me at all. The one thing I’d change, in fact, would be to make them open later, so that you could meet friends there in the evening rather than at the pub. Oh, and I’d have them make their cheese and marmite panini available all day, rather than just at breakfast time.

Still, if anyone can remember why I’m supposed to hate them, please let me know.

Lightning fail

I wish that more people knew the difference between “lightning” and “lightening“, but even more than that, I wish that Hello magazine hadn’t got it wrong in the headline “The Obamas’ Lightening Trip to Denmark”.

(I read the article in question over somebody’s shoulder on the Central Line and I can’t find it online, but I will endeavour to buy a copy tomorrow so I can scan in the proof.)

A question of terminology

The Today programme’s top news item this morning was the non-story that antenatal diagnoses of Down’s Syndrome are on the rise, partly because women are having babies later in life and partly because screening methods have improved over the last twenty years.

None of this seems very surprising, and I wasn’t sure why it was given top billing, unless the editors at Today are part of that humorous crowd who think that women are putting off parenthood because we’re selfish and (even worse) feminists, rather than because we think it’s important to have (a) careers which we can go back to now that one income cannot support a family and (b) relationships which are likely to last, our parents’ generation having been the first to see divorce as an acceptable alternative to unhappiness, and we as a result having seen more than our fair share of acromonious break-ups – and experienced at first-hand the effect they have on children. Or perhaps the Daily Mail would rather we get pregnant at the earliest opportunity and stay at home claiming benefits while we bring up our children single-handedly.

Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, Down’s Syndrome. It’s a sensitive subject because people’s responses to the idea of bringing up a child with Down’s vary wildly, and because it’s hard to know what one’s own response is likely to be until it happens. It’s probable, though, that there were people listening this morning who are wondering whether to have the test, or, having had it and received a Down’s diagnosis, are thinking about whether to continue with their pregnancy. That being the case, you would expect the programme to treat the subject with care.

In the segment I heard, John Humphrys interviewed Joan Morris, one of the researchers who had provided the latest statistics, and Jane Fisher of Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC), and I was struck by his repeated use of the word “abortion”, when both women used the less emotive alternative, “termination”. The two words have the same literal meaning, but “abortion” has developed a second metaphorical meaning of something ugly or awful, and in my mind it’s ready to be discontinued in its sense of ending a pregnancy. But a bit of googling reveals that that opinion is by no means universal, and I realise that just because a word has taken on a certain weight for me, it doesn’t mean it holds the same associations for other people.

There’s no guidance in the BBC’s style guide on the use of the word “abortion”; nor is there in the Guardian’s (my preferred source of arbitration, because it seems to have been written by real people who have spent time thinking about it). So I wonder: is my response to the word an unusual one, or is it genuinely dropping out of use? Is there a turning point at which we can say “this word is  no longer considered appropriate”? And how can that measurement be taken? It’s all interesting stuff, and I think I’ll take a bit of time to find out more about words which have fallen out of currency, and whether it’s possible to reconstruct the process by which it happens.

But back to this morning’s show, into which Humphreys still managed to inject a bit of his customary heavy-handedness. Joan Morris had explained that although the percentage of parents who choose to terminate a Down’s pregnancy has remained stable, the number of terminations has increased in line with the higher number of diagnoses.  Jane Fisher added that this was not new information, since we already know that more pregnancies are resulting in Down’s diagnoses, and that a certain proportion of those end in terminations. At this point Humphrys jumped in with “does that imply that you think too many women are having abortions?”, which apart from bearing no relationship to what either woman had said, was an extraordinarily crass attempt at creating controversy where there wasn’t any.

I always feel a little as though I’m watching Chris Morris starting a war between Australia and Hong Kong when I listen to John Humphrys on Today. It irritates me when I can’t hear what guests are saying because he’s drowning them out by arguing every point, however insignificant. But irritating your listeners is one thing. Attempting to scare up a controversy over a subject that is already difficult, and about which many listeners will have strong personal feelings, is pointless and unforgivable. I wish they’d retire him from the radio and leave him to present Mastermind, where I think he does an admirable job (unlike Paxman, whose feigned astonishment whenever a University Challenge team fails to answer a question he thinks they should know grows more wearisome every week).

Asterisks

Ocado gave me their customary free copy of the Times this weekend. I like the Times, and would probably buy it over – or as well as – the Guardian, if only it weren’t owned by that awful little man.

But reading an article on The Thick of It reminded me that the Guardian is still the only paper with a grown-up attitude towards swearing. When you’re printing long quotes from the script, asterisking out every other word renders it almost unreadable and stamps heavily on any humour that might have once lurked in the lines.

It also introduces an ambiguity about what was actually said, which in some cases makes it sound worse than it really is. The missing c-word in the quote below is actually “cock”, but the asterisk version allows the reader to infer an alternative which is much more unpleasant and a lot less funny:

“I will remove your iPod from its tiny nano-sheath, and push it up your c***. And then I’ll put some speakers up your a*** and put it on to ‘shuffle’ with my f****** fist…”

Thus the Times’s attempt at protecting our delicate sensibilities actually makes the joke more offensive. I would also hazard a guess that anyone interested in a piece about The Thick Of It can probably cope with a few swears.

Weekender

I was sad to hear that Liam Maher, the singer with Flowered Up, has died. You know how some bands have a sound that instantly sends you back to a time when anything was possible? Flowered Up do that for me. Aged 16, I spent £4.99 on a VHS copy of the 20-minute Weekender video, and I couldn’t tell you how many times I watched it with my friends that year, except that I guarantee that my immediate family will recognise this song as soon as it starts, through no choice of their own.

Liam doesn’t play the video’s hero (and he is a hero), but he has a cameo as the homeless guy who appears just as the song is properly starting (which is just over 3 minutes in; it’s a very long video, which is why it has to be split into two parts to fit on YouTube).

I saw Flowered Up about three years ago on Clapham Common, and they were every bit as good as in the olden days. I suppose everyone thinks the bands of their youth had a unique energy, but – well, just listen to the record. It’s the perfect way to kick off the weekend. Warning: contains swears.

The BNP on Newsnight

By the time you read this, you’ll probably know whether the protesters outside (and now inside) the BBC succeeded in their aim of preventing BNP leader Nick Griffin from appearing on Question Time. As I write I’m watching what looks like a full-scale riot happening outside Television Centre, although it’s hard to see whether it’s at all violent or whether there’s just a lot of people in a smallish space.

Now, I’m theoretically all for throwing eggs at neo-nazis, but the more I’ve thought about this, the less I’m convinced that the protesters have a good point to make. I wish heartily that we hadn’t elected two BNP MEPs at the last European elections, but given that we did, I don’t think there’s any case to be made for denying them the same platform that we accord to other political parties.

I may personally despise the BNP and everything they stand for. I may hope that you and many millions of other people feel the same way. But I don’t get to decide who gets to have their voice heard based on whether or not I like what they have to say. The only reasonable, equitable way of dealing with opinions we don’t agree with is to have the debate out in the open and to win the argument. If we try to silence the voices of those whom we think are in the wrong, we add to their appeal by making them into martyrs, as well as taking a dangerous step towards the kind of segregation that we profess to despise in them.

If Nick Griffin speaks on Question Time tonight, I have no doubt that he’ll sound foolish and ignorant, because that’s what he is*. I’d like us as a society to be brave enough to trust the viewers (who are also us as a society) to make a choice based on what they hear and see, not on what we decide should be kept hidden from them.

That said, if I saw him and I had an egg, I might still throw it.

* Cheeringly, he knows this too. An email sent out to supporters earlier today apologises in advance for his poor performance.

The Proclaimers

In honour of tonight’s trip to see the Proclaimers, here’s my favourite song of theirs (even though it’s about god, sort of):

Edit: oh boo, sorry, you have to click through to YouTube to watch. It’s worth it, though!

The comments below are almost as much fun as the song. These were my favourites (in case you didn’t already know, Sunshine On Leith is to Hibs fans as Glad All Over is to Palace fans):

Rfc1Darryl
This song is for all scots, not jus hibbs fans, n not jus cause am a rangers man, am probably the only rangers fan ye would ever meet that doesnt wave a union jack, scottish independence 2010 !!

Duncsta22
Good on you man. There is a bit of work to do with the rest of your crew though.