Category: Football

Down to the wire

On By Laura MorganIn Football

So. Crystal Palace’s survival in the Championship (what we used to call Division One, and before that Division Two – do keep up) will be determined by the outcome of our last game of the season – against the other relegation candidates, Sheffield Wednesday, at Hillsborough this Sunday.

We could have guaranteed safety by beating West Brom at Selhurst Park last night, but we could only manage a 1-1 draw, which under usual circumstances we would have thought a good result. These are not usual circumstances, though: the club went into administration in January and was docked ten points. Without the deduction, we’d have been basking in mid-table obscurity, like we do every other season.

As far as football goes, it hasn’t been a terrible season, you see. We’re not Portsmouth, which is why we still have a chance of staying up. Two chances, in fact: Wednesday are two points behind us, so a draw will be enough for us, whereas they need a win. When Portsmouth went into administration earlier in the season, they were docked nine points. Had our penalty been the same as theirs, last night’s draw would have been enough for us, because we’d be on 49 points to Wednesday’s 46, with a much better goal difference. They’d have needed to beat us by eighteen goals or more to stay up.

It’s OK, I’m not bitter.

As it is, if we are relegated this weekend the club’s unfortunate financial position means we’re unlikely to come straight back up again next year. We’ll become a third-tier club. It’s unthinkable! And that’s assuming the club survives at all, the alternative to which I’m genuinely not thinking about because it’s too horrible. But if it were to happen, the points deduction and subsequent relegation will have been the final nail in the club’s coffin, which rather makes me wonder what the purpose is of penalising already-struggling clubs in this way. After all, it’s the fans, not the the chairmen, or even the players, who stick around after the dust has died down and contemplate the mess that wasn’t of their making.

If you need me on Sunday, I’ll be hiding in a corner somewhere, feeling sick.

Coded messages

On By Laura MorganIn Football

There’s a man who stands outside Brixton station some days – not every day – and tells the commuters about god. I’ve never spoken to him, because he’s not of the school of street preaching that encourages audience participation (he is more of a thousand yard stare man), and I’ve never really thought much about him, but I have vaguely noticed that he always, without exception, wears an Arsenal hat. I assumed it was just his hat. Hey, some people like to wear hats. I like to wear hats, and I have a selection that sees me through all the seasons. But some people have one hat.

Yesterday, though, I suddenly wondered whether there wasn’t more to his hat than I had thought. If you are a street preacher, how do you decide when it’s time to do a little street preaching? Does the urge rise within you unbidden, or does something have to happen that goads you into going out and praying at the people of Brixton? And what that might be? No way of knowing, of course – unless! Is the hat a clue? Arsenal, you see, went out of the Champions’ League on Tuesday night in a trouncing by Barcelona. And on Wednesday morning there he was, glaring at the sky and telling us about Jesus. Could his praying patterns possibly be football-related? After all, you wouldn’t wear an Arsenal hat every day, whatever the weather, if you didn’t care, would you?

So I’m going to start following the fortunes of Arsenal FC (the things I do for you) and I’ll report back if there does seem to be a correlation between their ups and downs and those of the sermoniser of SW9.

(Edit: There was another whole bit here before, but it was about work, and on reflection I think it was ill-advised. I’ll tell you all about work another day.)

The Proclaimers

On By Laura MorganIn Football, Music, Reasons to be cheerful

In honour of tonight’s trip to see the Proclaimers, here’s my favourite song of theirs (even though it’s about god, sort of):

Edit: oh boo, sorry, you have to click through to YouTube to watch. It’s worth it, though!

The comments below are almost as much fun as the song. These were my favourites (in case you didn’t already know, Sunshine On Leith is to Hibs fans as Glad All Over is to Palace fans):

Rfc1Darryl
This song is for all scots, not jus hibbs fans, n not jus cause am a rangers man, am probably the only rangers fan ye would ever meet that doesnt wave a union jack, scottish independence 2010 !!

Duncsta22
Good on you man. There is a bit of work to do with the rest of your crew though.

End-of-season prediction

On By Laura MorganIn Football

Here’s how the teams line up in the Championship table this afternoon, after one game. And the funny thing is, I can imagine the list looking exactly like this in nine months’ time when the season comes to a close, assuming poor old Derby don’t suddenly find some form.  Let’s check back next May and see how accurate it was.

(Image swiped from BBC sport)

And they’re off!

On By Laura MorganIn Football, Reasons to be cheerful

The new season starts today, for people who follow proper football. We’re at home to Watford, and I can’t go because I’m on call for work, which entails being within fifteen minutes of a broadband connection at all times.

I’m predicting Palace 2-1 Watford. We went to watch a pre-season friendly against Fulham, which was actually Dougie Freedman’s testimonial (WHO LET THE DOUG OUT!), and, whilst it was a completely rubbish game, there were some points from which I thought we could take cautious hope. The two youngsters, Scannell and Moses, both looked good, as did a new signing from Bristol City, Nick Carle, who if he continues to play well I will forgive for acting like an arse in the away leg of the play-off semi-final last season, when he took five minutes to leave the pitch after being substituted.

Meanwhile, I’m watching the swimming, the builders who have been making car crash noises on the roof all morning appear to have disappeared, and Final Score is back this afternoon. It could be worse.

Update: it ended 0-0.  Still, a point’s a point.  Onwards and upwards!

Up the Baggies!

On By Laura MorganIn Books, Football

I’ve just finished reading We Don’t Know What We’re Doing, Adrian Chiles’s account of the 2005-06 season as he travelled around the country watching games with West Brom fans even more fanatical, in some cases, than he is. I’d recommend it to anyone, but especially to anyone whose team aren’t traditionally a big winning side. It’s heartening to discover that promotion and relegation feel the same for everyone else, too. Although I can barely call myself a fan in comparison to most of the people he meets.

But it’s a really really wonderful, heartwarming, funny, sad book and I’m glad I picked it up. Buy your copy now. Buy two!